This is really a story about the lethal combination of 409 and pride. Man Pride. And the combination of that with my high stress level and lack of patience at the current moment.
David declared he wanted to clean the bathroom. Fine with me, as I'm on overload, but I asked him how he was going to do it, since I have my way, which involves 409 and other cleaning products, and he has his way which involves water, unless he's surface cleaning wood, and then it involves a lot of Pledge. He wouldn't tell me, being a big boy now, I guess he doesn't have to answer to the Ms. about something I'm very particular about. But that's ok.
I came home after taking a how-to-make-ruffles class at Sheila Walker Studio in Tribeca on Sunday evening. The house smelled great! A 409 delight! The shower was running. I peeked my head in to see what a great job he must have done, but was quickly butted out. David was still cleaning the bathroom. He was cleaning the bathroom while taking a shower. In a steam room full of ammonia.
After the shower, I was making dinner. David came out, all squeaky clean and coughing. Why, his chest was irritated. How odd, he thought. I told him that he had just taken a sauna in ammonia, and that was bad. His response? "(cough) Probably." Probably? There's no "probably" about it. You do not take a shower while cleaning a bathroom with ammonia. Right? "I have sensitive (cough) lungs."
Here's where I over-reacted and sort of hit the roof. Why did I hit the roof? Because I was right at this moment. Very right, and while not being right about a lot of things, I needed a different answer from him, one that sounded something like: "I know. How foolish I was!" I finished making our dinner, let him load his own plate and watched Desperate and Grays while ignoring him. McDreamy was looking better and better in his silver-bullet mobile home. David dutifully attempted to bring me out of my "dark place," which was appreciated, and worked after the shows were over. I was getting ready for bed, washing my face, brushing teeth, etc., when I flushed the toilet after throwing in a tissue used to remove my makeup. The toilet vomited.
Me: "DAVID! The toilet vomited!"
David: while lounging on the couch: "Yeah, it does that sometimes"
Water was pouring all over the floor, headed for the hallway in currents.
Me: "David, it's all over the floor!"
David came in to check it out. The water eventually stopped coming. He was soaking up the water with towels when he said: "Huh. It's never done this before when I put paper towels in it." David had put the paper towels from cleaning the bathroom in the toilet. Bounty. The super absorbent towel. Down the toilet. After he got the floor cleaned up, he flushed it again. Overflowidge.
I just continued brushing my teeth while he cleaned. Smiling my pearly whites, because I didn't need to say a word. The toilet spoke. Better yet, the next morning, when the super came in to unclog the toilet, he couldn't. We needed a new toilet.
Lesson learned? A girl should always have a new toilet after a fight.
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6 comments:
Tilex. That is a scary bottle of fluid that even I do not use anymore. Yes, cleaning and showering is efficient, but should only be done at the very end of the cleaning!
I will tell you Katie girl, that was a great way to start my morning- reading your story. Wow, what a tale! I believe my sister-in-law telling me about how my brother ONCE cleaned the bathroom in their apartment in San Fran by pouring the ENTIRE bottle of soft scrub on the floor of a TINY little bathroom! Obviously, the how-to manuals for men and women and common sense are different! Great way to get a new toilet though...I think the celebrate the new bowl, you should use bounty for toilet paper! Hahahaha. love,
Content in Cleveland
Katie I just laughed so hard. Adam bought a dust-buster and uses it on everything: Clothing, the kitchen table, etc. I can't believe my eyes sometimes.
This kid who comes into my coffee shop once said he gets annoyed when his roommate doesn't clean " behind the ears" on the toilet bowl. That was my favorite term I've ever heard. Behind the Ears. ( you know the area I"m talking about, where the bowl comes out and those secret dark hard-to-reach spots get ignored.
Oh Dov. he's a toilet-breaker.
I <3 409 as well.
start school today. nervous. got a work email about cesarean.....
Love, Kelly from work
"Behind the Ears" - I love it! And I love the new heart - <3 v. nice. For those hard to reach spots, I use the Mr. Clean Magic Reach. <3 it.
Yes, you got a cesarean email. I got that, too. Soon, my child, you will see the new site. Very soon. Prepare yourself. I'm juggling Google search box (need a server proxy and have no idea what that is...George is on the job), an etap database heavyweight (the whole database is getting mailed to, plus Personas!), printing and mailing of annoumentment post card (designer + K2 printing + debra's hustband mailing it - Gary is fired :( ), and new pages to add to the site. Thank goodness I can wysiwig it!
My husband lived with Dave for about 5 years all the while complaining that Dave had never once cleaned the bathroom...I guess he should be greatful.
David's bathroom in his old apartment was about 30% of why I didn't want to move into it. ;) For those who don't know, David and I were neighbors in our building before we started dating, and before I moved up 5 floors, and then into my own apartment accross the hall. I had a smaller place, but my walls were/are painted pretty colors, and my bathroom was/is wonderful.
David is a very good organizer of piles of papers, and he does dust well. And he actually did a great job on the bathroom (with all that ammonia), and we had been dreaming of one day getting a new toilet just for fun... hehe
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