Wednesday, August 10, 2005

Shoes Overtake Me

My shoes alone can keep me from going on trips. See this suitcase here? It's got to go in that closet. Read on to find out what happens:



Every time I go out of town, I reach through my thicket of clothes into the short depths of my closet to pull the behemoth suitcase out. Putting it back is another battle. Boyfriend wonders why it sits for so long in our living room, waiting to be unpacked and dealt with. What he doesn't hear are my muffled screams as I go into my wardrobe, headfirst, batting a cowgirl skirt and a velour jacket as innocent skirts are pulled from their hangers. Covered in fallen clothes, I push and turn that suitcase into the far right corner of the closet, where there is a corner of a half foot of further depth.



The clothes are innocent bystandards, in their places on hangers on a bar. It's the shoes that are wild. They have no rack. They have no shoe stand. They have no annoying thing hanging from the door. They just have fights and wild affairs. Stray Seychelles mate with Campers. A Two Lips kitten heal puckers her way in, while a BCBG 3" heel pins a heavy Kenneth Cold Reaction wedge from three seasons ago against the wall. It's stressful, going in there, pulling them all out so that the suitcase goes in.

Then putting them back. Little Steven sequenced thongs tumble out, over a stray fake snake skin Aerosol pump, while a suede Reaction (who really belongs in storage with the other winter shoes) wedges her way in-between the door and the hinge, preventing the door from closing and making me scratch my head until I see her little flowered head sticking her nose where it shouldn't be.

Honestly. If I don't show up for a quick weekend with you, it's because I've been taken over. I could get another, smaller weekend bag, but :quivering: where :hyperventilating: would I ... put it?

6 comments:

kelly from work said...

this is one of my favorites so far. the best part is the hot green boa that snuck his way into that jungle of footwear.

heartit.

Mista said...

he did sneak his way in! that boa was from the night of the decorate-a-tutu bachelorette party. when i kneel down and dig to find shoes for the morning, Boyrfriend often sits up in bed looking for an animal that is making such noises.

former referred to roommate said...

OH FASHIONMISTA!!! Have I taught you nothing?!!!

My new thing....keeping shoes in their original boxes, taking a pic of said shoes with my spankin' new digital camera, and taping pic to end of box.

Allows for MUCH more storage space, with the added benefit of keeping shoes nice and new.

Mista said...

good idea!!

Anonymous said...

lousy idea!! what cave are you living in?? you need CLEAR SHOE BOXES found at clear-shoe-boxes.com!!! they are simply the best. keeps the dust bunnies off your favs and lets you see what's in your closet!! get with it, chickadees......it's the only way to go.........

affectionately,
'perk'

Fashion said...

Are you a shoe addict like me?????I have 25 pairs of Caterpillar shoes.......I love buying shoes....pics are very natural..nice post...